I have found that how we choose to perceive and relate to others, both those we know and those we don’t, is profoundly tied to our own peace, well-being, physical health, sense of connectedness, and capacity for true joy.
I sometimes hear people speaking judgments of others, followed by expressions like…
“Well, I am just being authentic.”
While I treasure authenticity (it’s one of my core values), this is simply a little loving invitation for an additional perspective I have found very helpful ~ in case it can serve YOU or anyone you love.
Of course, this is not about making anyone wrong in any way whatsoever. And this is not about quieting the full range of thoughts and feelings inside of all of us.
I simply find that unchecked judgments can dramatically limit us and our capacity for both love and joy, two things I am passionate about keeping the pathway open to flow.
For me, I intimately believe, to be conscientious humans on this planet, who impact each other vastly and who are part of a greater interconnected web with all of humanity and all of life…
…it is also our responsibility to dig a little more deeply and access what I believe is, perhaps, an even more authentic part of who we truly are.
To me, being authentic is not simply about freely and unconsciously expressing whatever judgments I think or feel in any moment and then stopping there.
It’s also about pausing and taking the time, effort, intention, and heart it requires to do these 5 things…
(1) To take responsibility and look at my own role in things, to recognize my own imperfections, my own humanness, my own shortcomings, my own blind spots, my own parts that may be triggered and need love and healing.
(2) To have empathy and compassion for the aspects of people that I understand…
…and also to humble myself to the danger of making assumptions and to the recognition that there’s so much more pain and beauty and struggle and magic to every single person than what we see on the surface.
(3) To drop into the loving and compassionate place within me (which is within all of us) that can see others and situations, not through the distorted lens of my own filters and projections…
…but to gain more of a glimpse of how Love would perceive it all.
(4) To not only point out what’s “wrong” or not working…
…but to do what it takes to awaken to and highlight all the countless things others are also doing well and all of the strengths on the flipside of whatever I see challenging about any person or situation.
(5) And to be a radical appreciator…
…because it takes being radical when our brains are naturally inclined (for our survival) to predominantly scan for threats…
…rather than for the enormity of gifts and blessings that are already here, just waiting for us to see them (and it requires us to scan for them in order for them to be revealed).
I just find that there is so outrageously, ridiculously much goodness and exquisite tenderness in ourselves, others, and this world…
…that we tragically miss when we think being authentic simply means reacting to life with our unconscious judgments, unquestioned reactions, and patterned ways of thinking…
…without thoughtfully looking a bit more deeply,
to ensure we don’t overvalue our own limited perception as “fact” or “better” or “right,”
to retrain our minds to see the much bigger, wider perspective,
to live in perpetual curiosity, rather than believing everything our minds tell us is true,
and to open our hearts and let the wiser, more loving parts of who we are do more of the thinking and speaking.
May your own heart guide you towards whatever ways of perceiving and relating keep your heart open ~ so things like joy, peace, presence, and love can flourish there too.
Abundant Love and Joy,
